Paul Clifford

Yes, this is the book that begins 'It was a dark and stormy night', the line that launched a thousand parodies and an annual bad-writing contest. Spare it a smirk, then notice what the novel actually is: the story of Paul, an orphan raised in a London thieves' den, who grows into the most gallant highwayman on the English roads, robbing the wealthy under one name while charming their drawing rooms under another, until his double life collides with the one woman he loves and the one man whose secret entangles his own history.

Bulwer-Lytton wrote it as a deliberate provocation: a romance where the criminals have honour and the true villainy sits on the judge's bench. Its attack on a legal system that manufactured the criminals it hanged made it a sensation in 1830 and helped push real debates on the era's brutal penal code. What survives today is a swashbuckling, theatrical, socially furious adventure, and the fun of hearing that infamous opening sentence delivered completely straight.

At roughly 182,500 words, Paul Clifford runs about 20½ hours at 1x narration speed. That figure is an estimate based on a typical narration pace. The exact length depends on the voice and the playback speed you choose.

Paul Clifford is in the public domain, so the complete text is free on Project Gutenberg and LoudReader has the entire Project Gutenberg catalog built in. To listen:

1. Download LoudReader for Mac or iPhone (free, no account).
2. Search for “Paul Clifford” in the built-in catalog and add it to your library.
3. Press play. A natural offline voice reads the book while each word highlights on screen, and your place is saved between sessions.

LoudReader reads with natural offline voices, so the whole book works on a plane or underground. It is fully on-device and private, your library never leaves your device. Listening is unlimited on the free tier.